Wednesday, June 17, 2009

LACEY

She took a long drag on her cigarette. YES, she said to herself, smiling. Today is the day. Today she would be free from all the stress, all the heartache, all the pain. Today, her state of depression would dissolve and all the bad memories would be forever lost. Today she would succeed in her long term desire to no longer be subject to the anxiety of this thing called life. Indeed, today was the day. She took another long drag and blew rings of smoke at the razor blade sitting next to her on the bathroom sink. She thought of how something so small as a razor blade would have such a big impact on her and those in her life. This small, silver instrument of precision was the only thing coming between her life disturbed and a life renewed. She holds out her hands in front of her, trying to steady them from their uncontrollable tremble. She knew that this day would come eventually. She had been through too much. So many people had run over top of her. So many tears had fallen. So many friends and family she had lost. She couldn’t take it anymore. She had become consumed by death, violence, abuse. She was young, but she had the soul of one who had experienced so much.. She had a solution. She picked up the razor and examined it for the sharp side. Struggling to see through water filled eyes, she held the razor up to her wrist, trying desperately to keep her hand steady. No more pain, she thought. No more drama. No more broken hearts shattered into smaller and smaller pieces time and time again. Finally, I’ll be free from this bullshit life. The corners of her mouth turned up as she thought of her freedom. She glided the razor blade against her wrist, piercing her skin, damaging the thin green vein which gave her life. Dark red blood poured from her arm and trickled down her thin fingers. A large puddle began to form on the bathroom floor. She began to feel dizzy. Her eyes began to roll. She felt like she hadn’t eaten in years. This was it. This is what she had been waiting for. This single moment in time would put her out of her misery forever. She falls out of the bathroom into the hall. Finally. Time to meet my maker. Tears fall down her face onto the thick ivory carpet. The front door opens. She hears her name. I love you, she murmurs through weak lips. She closes her eyes and falls into a deep sleep. A sleep she hopes will last forever…

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